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  #11  
Old 24th May 2009, 04:03 AM
jacobx jacobx is offline
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.... to fast.

and confusing.
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  #12  
Old 12th June 2009, 10:42 AM
MagicOPromotion MagicOPromotion is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: England
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The cream

i think this is rubbish av never done a story on a season before so it was worth a try, my writing isnt so good and i dont know how to use the graphics. any feedback would be useful as i may continue with this.
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  #13  
Old 12th June 2009, 01:03 PM
LookingForGainer LookingForGainer is offline
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Posts: 25
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Thumbs down

It's alright I guess..
Just feel like it was a little bit underdeveloped.
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  #14  
Old 22nd February 2010, 12:06 PM
bazookiejoe bazookiejoe is offline
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great story man
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  #15  
Old 22nd February 2010, 12:09 PM
bazookiejoe bazookiejoe is offline
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i agree needs more
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  #16  
Old 2nd March 2010, 10:52 PM
mdminc747's Avatar
mdminc747 mdminc747 is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Cahrleston, West Virginia
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aww don't listen to them. i liked it.
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  #17  
Old 24th November 2010, 05:26 AM
cool=fat cool=fat is offline
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I like it needs more
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  #18  
Old 5th March 2011, 08:17 AM
fatbellys fatbellys is offline
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Very sexy story
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  #19  
Old 27th March 2011, 04:40 PM
garfield garfield is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2004
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great start
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  #20  
Old 1st April 2012, 09:47 AM
speedoguy38 speedoguy38 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 7
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Has potential, but needs an editor.
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cream, moob, nipples, obese, sexy

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