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Funnies Got a good joke, or funny story to share - here's the place to put it

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  #1  
Old 13th January 2006, 10:36 AM
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Guts Guts is offline
 
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Talking Answering Service one liners

I found these a while ago, some clever dude suggested they would be good to put on your answering service...


Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.

Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.

I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash

A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent

Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without...but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

You can't buy love . . . but you pay heavily for it

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.

They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
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  #2  
Old 13th January 2006, 08:45 PM
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wally wally is offline
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..........................
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  #3  
Old 15th January 2006, 06:03 AM
Matuso Matuso is offline
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Ha...ha...um...
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  #4  
Old 15th January 2006, 06:43 PM
Omniscient Omniscient is offline
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Haha, yep funny
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  #5  
Old 20th May 2006, 11:39 PM
jiggly_gut jiggly_gut is offline
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Those one-liners are hilarious.
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  #6  
Old 21st May 2006, 11:18 PM
gooseface gooseface is offline
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sigh.... haha, some of those are pretty sweet
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  #7  
Old 19th August 2006, 12:55 AM
Darkliljon Darkliljon is offline
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Talking

nice one liners
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  #8  
Old 19th August 2006, 01:22 AM
chucky_rox chucky_rox is offline
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Cool one-liners, very funny
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  #9  
Old 23rd December 2006, 03:29 AM
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dragonboy dragonboy is offline
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and soooooooo true.
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  #10  
Old 16th January 2007, 12:45 AM
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I love one liners! Thanks for posting those gems.
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