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Funnies Got a good joke, or funny story to share - here's the place to put it

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  #1  
Old 13th January 2006, 02:23 AM
bigbellywis bigbellywis is offline
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One of the funniest things on the forum.

a man name Tim. Tim was 6'5" 150 pounds and skin and bones and he didn't eat for 3 days. one day one of his co-workers was a 6'0" 475 pounds and he said to tim you should really gain some fat mean like its better to be fat and hvae moobs then trying to kill yourself by straving yourself. Tim said," Why? mean like i got a devorce for his wife and my son has moved off with her and i can't see him any more so whats the point." So he goes to bed that night and the last thing he thought of was the gaining fat; then he said to himself "No way,Thats b.s."

The next morning, Tim had a stomachacah think it was just hunger. Tim open up the refrigorater and found some food missing. Tim thought to himself and he said," Thats strange i did not get up and eat anything." So he went off to work and he did not feel hunger pains throgh out the day and he said to others," That's strange i don't feel the hunger pains during the day." one co-worker said," maybe you got use to the hunger pains that u don't feel anything." So he goes home and went on the scale and he was down to 149 he was happy. then he went to bed.

The next morning his "hunger pains" was worse then ever. then Tim goes to the refrig and looks that his food is gone!? He goes to work one day and see that the same fat co-worker was bragging that he had just gone up to 500 pounds and Tim goes up to him and said," ARE YOU SNEAKING IN MY HOUSE AND STILLING MY FOOD!!!!!!!?!?!?!" The co-worker said,'' No, why mean like being fat is not being proud of if you steal food.'' Tim goes through the rest of the day and puzzled who would take his food? When he got home he went on the scale abd the scale said 153 and he said impossible and he tryed to throw up and the scale said 156 and he said," i need to go to bed i probably had one to many beers.

The next morning, he woke up stress-free until he seen his car was totaled and he was going crazy. That morning,he want to work on his son old tricycle. everybody laughed EXCEPT the fat co-worker. The co-worker said," i know you trying to kill yourself but do you have to embarrass yourself too?"
Tim ignorethat comment and went off to work and when he got home with grocery so that he has food for his guest. if he had any quest. then he went to the scale and seen 160 and then he thrown up again and he gained another 3 POUNDS! Tim went to bed starting to ask himself what i going on?

the next day, he didn't have hunger pains any more but he seen the refrig and all that food was gone and he was P.O. He got a new car and drove off to work and when he got there. the fat co-worker said to him," heeeeey you actual trying to gain fat i can tell by your belly." Tim looks down and he started to scream on the top of his lungs. He runs home and he checks the scale and the scale said 175 and he thrown up ten times then he jumps on the scale and the scale said 205 and then his pants popped. he hit himself on top of his head trying to wake him up and he gave himself a concussion and he was still as a rock and when he woke up he seen hes stomach straching and his gut was at the refrig and the gut said,"no food aghhhhh!"

Tim said,'' what are you." and the gut said,'' im your gut what you'd think the fariy god parent.'' then he and the gut gets into a talk and the gut said if he gain weight he would have his wife and his son back. then Tim said ok.















one year later



Tim was a big 650 pounds and most of the weight went into the mid-section. The gut lied and his wife had a restrianing order and moved to asia.
but he end ed up finding out that the now 775 pound co-worker mhad a crush on him and he turned gayand fell in love with him so the were gaining buddies





5 years later



The couple weighed an outstanding coombiened weight of 7000 pounds and most of it went to gut but Tim weighed 4000 pounds and the co-worker weigh an 3000 pound and the were imoble when the reach 1000 pounds and now hired a feeder to feed them and do there work over the internet. and they lived faterliy every after.
  #2  
Old 28th January 2006, 04:41 AM
Matuso Matuso is offline
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Bored, gonna go over the story and make comments (which are bolded)

a man name Tim. Pardon? Tim was 6'5" 150 pounds and skin and bones and he didn't eat for 3 days. Slow down there, Hemingway. one day one of his co-workers was a 6'0" 475 pounds so, just one day, this guy was six foot and 475 pounds, and the next day he was back to three foot two and 12 pounds? and he said to tim you should really gain some fat mean like its better to be fat and hvae ooh, exotic new word moobs then trying to kill yourself by straving is that like strafing? yourself. the syntax police are going to take you away... Tim said," Why? mean like i got a devorce for his wife who's talking here? and my son has moved off with her and i can't see him any more so whats the point." I agree. What's the point? Actually, what's the problem? I'm so confused... So he goes to bed that night whoa, time shift! and the last thing he thought of was the gaining fat; THE GAINING FAT, coming to a theater near you then he said to himself "No way,Thats b.s." ...I...um...what?

The next morning, Tim had a stomachacah stomach...a...cah... think it was just hunger. who think hunger what? Tim open up the refrigorater TIM OPEN UP REFRIGURANORUMH FOOD GOOD DINOSAUR BAD and found some food missing. dun dun DUN Tim thought to himself and he said," Thats strange i did not get up and eat anything." the plot thickens. Oh, who am I kidding, there is no plot. There is no syntax, either. Or grammar, or punctuation, or... So he went off to work and he did not feel hunger pains throgh out the day and he said to others," That's strange i don't feel the hunger pains during the day." so this man describes his life in detail to his co-workers...that's just great...I'll bet his co-workers always give him the smallest, dryest piece of cake at the office parties. one co-worker said," maybe you got use to the hunger pains that u don't feel anything." Maybe Tim not feel hungry use to got pains of hunger please. So he goes home and went on the scale just pick a friggin' time perspective and stick to it. and he was down to 149 he was happy. then he went to bed. Then he woke up. Then he got old. Then he went to the great crappy story in the sky...

The next morning his "hunger pains" was worse then ever. then Tim goes to the refrig ...erator... and looks that his food is gone!? he looks!? that his food!?!?!<>$ is gone!!!?!?!?!?!!>!$TOL!$J#$TVH GR*U He goes to work one day Today, tomorrow, what? and see that the same fat co-worker was bragging that he had just gone up to 500 pounds grammar is not the author's strong point. The author's strong point is...um... and Tim goes up to him and said," ARE YOU SNEAKING IN MY HOUSE AND STILLING BEN STILLING! DESTILLING! MY FOOD!!!!!!!?!?!?!" OH NOESES!!!!!?!?!??!?!?!!1?!1./1?!!!?!?!! The co-worker said,'' No, why mean like being fat is not being proud of if you steal food.'' Speak better good today! Tim goes through the rest of the day and puzzled who would take his food? Maybe the fairy of CRAZY is stealing his food! When he got home he went on the scale abd the scale said 153 and he said impossible without actually saying it, impressive! and he tryed to throw up and the scale said 156 and he said," i need to go to bed i probably had one to many beers. Tim doesn't like punctuation, does he?

The next morning, he woke up stress-free until he seen his car was totaled and he was going crazy. I guess the fact that the walls were talking to him and his lamps were turning into mushrooms didn't tip him off...? That morning,he want to work on his son old tricycle. His son-old tricycle...a perfect age! Son-old! everybody laughed EXCEPT the fat co-worker. The co-worker said," i know you trying to kill yourself but do you have to embarrass yourself too?" So, nobody in this story likes grammar. That's great.

Tim ignoreSPACEthat comment and went off to work and when he got home with grocery so that he has food for his guest. Oh dear god, he's murdering the Syntax! if he had any quest. then he went to the scale and seen 160 and then he thrown up again and he gained another 3 POUNDS! Tim went to bed starting to ask himself what i going on? Those last three sentences went by in a blur of shit.

the next day, he didn't have hunger pains any more but he seen the refrig and all that food was gone and he was P.O. He was post office? What? He got a new car and drove off to work and when he got there. PERIOD. the fat co-worker said to him," heeeeey you actual trying to gain fat i can tell by your belly." Heeeeeeeeeeeeey Tim looks down and he started to scream on the top of his lungs. He runs home and he checks the scale and the scale said 175 and he thrown up ten times then he jumps on the scale and the scale said 205 and then his pants popped. he hit himself on top of his head trying to wake him up and he gave himself a concussion and he was still as a rock and when he woke up he seen hes stomach straching and his gut was at the refrig and the gut said,"no food aghhhhh!" Okay, I think I just tripped out of my ****ING MIND.

Tim said,'' what are you." and the gut said,'' im your gut what you'd think the fariy god parent.'' then he and the gut gets into a talk and the gut said if he gain weight he would have his wife and his son back. then Tim said ok. ...I...uh...oh god...

one year later

Ow, jeez...

Tim was a big 650 pounds wow, 500 pounds in one year... and most of the weight went into the mid-section. The gut lied and his wife had a restrianing order and moved to asia. Oh, if you can't trust your talking stomach...
but he end ed up finding out that the now 775 pound co-worker mhad a crush on him and he turned gay wow, that was fast and fell in love with him so the were gaining buddies


5 years later

I LOVE BIG FONT, DON'T YOU?

The couple weighed an outstanding coombiened weight of 7000 pounds and most of it went to gut his talking stomach, I assume? but Tim weighed 4000 pounds and the co-worker weigh an 3000 pound and the were imoble imoble? when the the what? reach 1000 pounds and now hired a feeder to feed them and do there work over the internet. Because you can do anything over the internet! Like, write crappy stories! and they lived faterliy oh dear god every after.

No offense meant to the original creator of this story. Written purely for fun.
  #3  
Old 1st February 2008, 11:57 AM
Big_fat_kiddo
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This deserves a place of honor on our boards, seriously.

Enjoy!
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