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Coolkid 10th April 2009 07:40 AM

The cream
 
Tell me what you think of this story

Josh was always on the heavy side weighing 215 in his senior year of high schhol. Every summer josh went to get a physical. The doctor asked Josh to stand on the scale. It read 332. Josh stared at the doctor saying I don't look like I weigh that. The doctor said let me take some samples but you really need to look into some sort of weight loss program.

Josh complacently agreed and gave the blood needed. Two weeks pass and Josh receives a message on his cell from the doctor explaing "Josh after testing and retesting your bloodwork I need you come into my office so I can go over some things with you it's very urgent that you get back to me."

Josh walks into the doctors office he is told to sit down. Josh listens as the doctor begins to explain "you have a very special condition in your body where your fat contracts to fit your skin so you may have weighed 332 on your last visit but if I am correct you should have gained more weight because the fat also doubles it's self over time so you look like you weigh 215 but you should weigh about 360 today so if you could step on the scale we can continue." Josh nervously complies and begins to ask " can I call my boyfriend to come down from work after I step on the scale" the doctor agrees and takes the reading off the scale 258. Josh turns to him " what do we do from here"

Josh's boyfriend Daniel comes into the after about half an hour and the doctor explains the situation and continues "josh the hospital has come with a special cream for you to apply to your skin so that it will allow that fat below to expand to it's proper size. But I must also warn you that the cream be applied everywhere on your body and your nipples, lips, and penis also need to have the cream applied and will expand to the fat below. Thefat will begin to grow after about 5 minutes after application."

Daniel turns to josh "you will be okay we will fat through this together."
" I know Daniel I love you so much thank you"
I
The doctor leaves the cream for the couple to apply to josh's body. Josh strips down and begins to apply the cream over his large chest and belly and continues on his face and legs and allows Daniel to apply it to his back and butt. The couple stand there and josh begins to feel a tingly amazing sensation starting in his nipples where he first applied the cream. He and Daniel stare in ectasy as josh's nipples expand from the size of a quater to about 3 inches in diameter followed by the fat behind expanding to easily fit a DD bra. Daniel was already loving josh's new physic. Josh's belly grew floowed by his legs face and back side. Josh had never felt such a feeling of pleasure when his penis expanded to about the the thickness of a car exhast pipe. Daniel fell in love with josh all over again.

To be continued if there are positive responses. Let me know what you think.i

esilacsjc 10th April 2009 10:18 PM

sounding good. if only i had that skin condition!

bulgeluva 10th April 2009 11:30 PM

i do quite like i, it's very good.

you should absolutely write more.

BTW is the '258' in the last line of the 3rd paragraph meant to be 358?

GreenGlasses101 11th April 2009 02:54 AM

I didn't enjoy it. It seemed rushed, and hard to follow. There's no problem that the characters have to overcome to make it interesting. It's not developed well. Sorry Coolkid, only 2/10.

dublover42 11th April 2009 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GreenGlasses101 (Post 44173)
I didn't enjoy it. It seemed rushed, and hard to follow. There's no problem that the characters have to overcome to make it interesting. It's not developed well. Sorry Coolkid, only 2/10.

I'm sorry but I have to agree.

tl;dr

kid get's physical, has odd skin condition, doc says his weight changes, kid is gay, called boyfriend, kid gets ecstasy from "cream" that has to be applied everywhere...

sorry it just doesn't seem to be well thought out...

russelofakind 24th April 2009 06:22 PM

interesting, keep going

youngchubby1984 2nd May 2009 06:12 AM

Kind of cool idea...it's better than the standard go-to-college-and-get-fat story.

Phoenix Brave 10th May 2009 03:52 AM

I agree with everyone else. The story seemed rushed, like it was typed in less than 5 minutes, and even I had a hard time figuring out the plot. Would've liked to see more depth to the story and characters, not something hastily written.

fatty1000 15th May 2009 10:38 AM

Interesting idea but more time needs to be spent on it.

razzy790 22nd May 2009 11:52 PM

good story but needs more


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