medi
28th July 2006, 09:54 PM
I think this might seem inappropriate to post this here, but I’ve got to put what I feel somewhere concrete or I might just be sick. My dear grandfather past away this morning, and I’m trying desperately to keep my head straight. He was nearly 80, a ripe old age, but he suffered heavily from Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s so his passing must have been a relief. He could not speak, or even acknowledge company; I worried that he must have seen me and my family as complete strangers.
Before he passed, I thought, “What combination of words can I possibly say to a Loving God for Him to take my grandfather without feeling like I was wishing death on the man I loved like a father”. I’m still shaken and I know it’s selfish of me not to want him to go. This past week, his final week, he was unable to eat, drink, or even swallow. The only sustenance he could have was a damp sponge to his lips and a dose of morphine. He was not living, only surviving, no one could call *that* living.
I post here, because I can’t speak to my mother about it. I know if I bring it up, it will only bring on fresh tears that she’s worked so hard to stop. So, if you all could just keep him and our family in your prayers or thoughts I’d be much obliged.
Before he passed, I thought, “What combination of words can I possibly say to a Loving God for Him to take my grandfather without feeling like I was wishing death on the man I loved like a father”. I’m still shaken and I know it’s selfish of me not to want him to go. This past week, his final week, he was unable to eat, drink, or even swallow. The only sustenance he could have was a damp sponge to his lips and a dose of morphine. He was not living, only surviving, no one could call *that* living.
I post here, because I can’t speak to my mother about it. I know if I bring it up, it will only bring on fresh tears that she’s worked so hard to stop. So, if you all could just keep him and our family in your prayers or thoughts I’d be much obliged.