jellydoughnut
13th May 2006, 07:07 PM
I present to you, an outpouring of useless emoting...
Tony had never dreamed that his wedding would be with another man. He had never dreamed that his first kiss would be with another man. He had never dreamed that life could be more than being chiseled and wearing really expensive hair gel, but I’m getting a bit ahead of myself. Meet Tony, a talented boy of fifteen with a very accepting personality, and loyal to his friends. He was well liked by many and had very few enemies or problems. In short, a pleasant person to be around.
This, however, was only a façade, untrue to his true identity. On the inside, he was a much darker character and very passionate. He also had stumbled across a rather unique, at least for those around him, “hobby”, gaining. He had been involved in forums and other online activities for about two years at this point, but clearly stated he was straight. He had visions of waltzing with the blonde skinny girl he loved into the late hours of the night and finishing with a kiss under the glowing stars. But, he did enjoy seeing the massive bellies of other men…
One cold winter’s day, as if blown in by the Northern winds, a boy, the same age as Tony, drifted into school. He didn’t say much but at first glance, Tony knew they were destined to be friends. Little did he know that a spark had gone of in his mind which slowly and inconspicuously consumed a small part of his subconscious. He spent as much time with him as the school day would allow, and Tony noticed a change in the boarding school’s dinners and the bitter cold outside was refreshing for his smoldering brain cells. All around, the world had changed, like a caterpillar changes into a magnificent butterfly.
As time went, his friend, Nathan, became much more talkative and soon ranked high in the social ladder with Tony. They were similar in more ways than Tony could have ever imagined. They held interests in the same fields, felt the same way in political and religious matters, and even had similar taste in clothing. They were very close, especially when alone together. Tony could feel a fire in his brain that urged him towards Nathan and he followed it without hesitation.
Another wonderful weekend had passed between the two and their friends and Tony was musing in bed. He thought about Nathan for a long time, as he did many a night, but this time, he started coming to the realization that he may be more than friends with him. He imagined, just to see what it might be like to kiss his lips, and as he dreamed of it, he fell asleep to dream deeper.
Now Nathan was his love, he felt very strongly about it. The feeling he had when they were together was pure, strong, and blocked all other cares out of the way. He wanted to reach toward him and give him even the smallest kiss on the lips, but society couldn’t allow it, and a small part of him feared that Nathan wouldn’t either.
With spring, love is increased ten fold, which gave Tony enough courage to ask Nathan a dark question.
“Nathan, do you mind if I ask you a question, in all honesty?” Tony spoke up carefully.
“Sure. What?” Nathan was calm, unlike Tony full of fear and worry, so before he had a chance to chicken out, he blurted out:
“Are you bisexual?” The words resounded in the empty room and time seemed to stop in its tracks. The moment of truth was about to reveal itself.
Unfortunately, it came much to fast with a singular “No.” Tony was thrown down, unable to get back up. He had prepared an entire slew of similes and analogies to describe the love that burned within him. As he tried to figure out what had just happened, where he had gone wrong, Nathan noticed the worry in his face and asked “Why?”
Tony was still in a stupor and all he could manage out was a third grader sqeaking to his “crush.”
“I guess, well, I kinda, ya know, like you…”
That was IT! Tony yelled in his mind. That was the best you could come up with! An endless wealth of love, and all you can manage is that!
Again, the worry in his face must have been apparent, so Nathan told him that he appreciated what was just said, and understood that it takes a lot of courage and yaddah yaddah yaddah. None his consolations helped Tony. He still sat there like a bucket of bolts. Then Nathan ended:
“Thanks, I love you too.”
So there it was, unbeknownst to Nathan, he had just stuck a knife through Tony’s heart and twisted it and pulled it out and put it in a blender. He had thrown the words Tony was so looking forward to hearing right in his face like a wet towel. But what was he to do, Nathan was straight, Tony was bi, end of story right? Of course not, for that very night, Tony wept into his pillow for an hour until he was finally to exhausted to cry anymore and fell asleep.
~
Don't like it? There's probably a good reason behind it.
Tony had never dreamed that his wedding would be with another man. He had never dreamed that his first kiss would be with another man. He had never dreamed that life could be more than being chiseled and wearing really expensive hair gel, but I’m getting a bit ahead of myself. Meet Tony, a talented boy of fifteen with a very accepting personality, and loyal to his friends. He was well liked by many and had very few enemies or problems. In short, a pleasant person to be around.
This, however, was only a façade, untrue to his true identity. On the inside, he was a much darker character and very passionate. He also had stumbled across a rather unique, at least for those around him, “hobby”, gaining. He had been involved in forums and other online activities for about two years at this point, but clearly stated he was straight. He had visions of waltzing with the blonde skinny girl he loved into the late hours of the night and finishing with a kiss under the glowing stars. But, he did enjoy seeing the massive bellies of other men…
One cold winter’s day, as if blown in by the Northern winds, a boy, the same age as Tony, drifted into school. He didn’t say much but at first glance, Tony knew they were destined to be friends. Little did he know that a spark had gone of in his mind which slowly and inconspicuously consumed a small part of his subconscious. He spent as much time with him as the school day would allow, and Tony noticed a change in the boarding school’s dinners and the bitter cold outside was refreshing for his smoldering brain cells. All around, the world had changed, like a caterpillar changes into a magnificent butterfly.
As time went, his friend, Nathan, became much more talkative and soon ranked high in the social ladder with Tony. They were similar in more ways than Tony could have ever imagined. They held interests in the same fields, felt the same way in political and religious matters, and even had similar taste in clothing. They were very close, especially when alone together. Tony could feel a fire in his brain that urged him towards Nathan and he followed it without hesitation.
Another wonderful weekend had passed between the two and their friends and Tony was musing in bed. He thought about Nathan for a long time, as he did many a night, but this time, he started coming to the realization that he may be more than friends with him. He imagined, just to see what it might be like to kiss his lips, and as he dreamed of it, he fell asleep to dream deeper.
Now Nathan was his love, he felt very strongly about it. The feeling he had when they were together was pure, strong, and blocked all other cares out of the way. He wanted to reach toward him and give him even the smallest kiss on the lips, but society couldn’t allow it, and a small part of him feared that Nathan wouldn’t either.
With spring, love is increased ten fold, which gave Tony enough courage to ask Nathan a dark question.
“Nathan, do you mind if I ask you a question, in all honesty?” Tony spoke up carefully.
“Sure. What?” Nathan was calm, unlike Tony full of fear and worry, so before he had a chance to chicken out, he blurted out:
“Are you bisexual?” The words resounded in the empty room and time seemed to stop in its tracks. The moment of truth was about to reveal itself.
Unfortunately, it came much to fast with a singular “No.” Tony was thrown down, unable to get back up. He had prepared an entire slew of similes and analogies to describe the love that burned within him. As he tried to figure out what had just happened, where he had gone wrong, Nathan noticed the worry in his face and asked “Why?”
Tony was still in a stupor and all he could manage out was a third grader sqeaking to his “crush.”
“I guess, well, I kinda, ya know, like you…”
That was IT! Tony yelled in his mind. That was the best you could come up with! An endless wealth of love, and all you can manage is that!
Again, the worry in his face must have been apparent, so Nathan told him that he appreciated what was just said, and understood that it takes a lot of courage and yaddah yaddah yaddah. None his consolations helped Tony. He still sat there like a bucket of bolts. Then Nathan ended:
“Thanks, I love you too.”
So there it was, unbeknownst to Nathan, he had just stuck a knife through Tony’s heart and twisted it and pulled it out and put it in a blender. He had thrown the words Tony was so looking forward to hearing right in his face like a wet towel. But what was he to do, Nathan was straight, Tony was bi, end of story right? Of course not, for that very night, Tony wept into his pillow for an hour until he was finally to exhausted to cry anymore and fell asleep.
~
Don't like it? There's probably a good reason behind it.