Out of place?

[GreenGlasses101]

Do you ever feel that what we do is wrong? Do you ever look at your friends and wish for normality?

I know I do, but what about you guys?

I get all that stuff we are made the way we are, but it's really on and off for me, sometimes I accept this so called 'fetish' and live it out, but other times I think what I do is gross and disturbing. Sometimes I wish I could get rid of liking big guts, almost as if it is an anchor holding me down from living like my friends. I don't know really. Have any of you ever had changes of heart?:confused:

[FatMike]

I think everyone has changes of heart here very often.
Otherwise I wouldn't have people asking me to delete their accounts every day :P
But its normal. I think as long as you control it and don't let it control your life (the fetish) you should be able to control those feelings.

[Мёртвый Взывает]

I've definitely felt what you're describing, especially recently, because I've just moved because I have little friends and most of them are distant. But I guess most times I just out live it. Interesting inquiry though. :)

[prorealsugar]

I've experienced those feelings. They can, however, lead to uncertainty, or interesting self-discovery.

[harryfatboi]

i do. you wouldnt be human if you didnt have second thoughts about things

[Raain]

That's powerful stuff...I can't even say stuff. This is hard to post on, I'm sure most people will just ignore it. I almost did.

[Strider]

What is wrong and right? Aren't they nothing more than a society's perception on what is acceptable behavior and what is not? Just like so called "facts" are nothing more than accepted truths, good/bad and right/wrong are nothing more than accepted social behaviors by the society as a whole. Keep in mind that the earth being flat was a "fact" in pre-explorer times.

As for the fetish itself; fetishes are something that excite us sexually and most of us do not know why or did nothing previously to have this fetish. Most fetishes are weird/strange/awkward/harmful/etc, but I'm sure there are much socially percieved worse fetishes than the weight gain one. I'm also sure that homosexuality was considered a fetish by those who had an attraction to the same sex, but as the people with the "fetish" began to accept it and their numbers increased, they were able break free from the social norm and form their own community (dare I say society) of sorts. Now this "homosexual fetish" is widely accepted as normal and some have even taken farther as to make it the main focus of their lives and the basis for their relationships.

I must confess, though, that I myself am tightly bound by the social pressuse that go against both these fetishes that I have and I also confess that I am not strong enough to confide in them, at least not at this time in my life as I have already laid a path for myself that I cannot easily change. If I can help others be strong enough to accept themselves and choose the paths that they so desire to, than I can be somewhat content with my place in this scheme of things.

[redvein]

I dont wish for normaility because... well... I don't like being normal, but the thing that I wish for, and i know that it will sound chliche on this site, but I wish I was fatter than I am now. It will make me, and I know it will make my boyfriend very very happy.

[dan89]

It's very hard I have tried to ignore this so called "fettish" but it just keeps coming back. I've always found it hard to accept, and will probably be like this for years to come.

[Fat Nat]

dan, it's probably easier to accept who you are and get on with life than spend your time trying to fight your natural urges. If fat is a part of your sexuality then it's as difficult (even impossible?) to deny as any other part of your sexuality, such as an attraction to members of the same or opposite sex, or lack thereof.

I felt torn about this part of me (do we really have to call it a fetish? I don't need handcuffs or rubber trousers to get off!) for most of my teen years and have only really been consistent in my feelings towards fat since turning 21. I think it's probably just a matter of having time to get used to it, to accept who you are and enjoy being yourself.

If you think about it there's really nothing terribly immoral about enjoying fatness, is there? People who aren't into it might think you odd if you told them the exact details of what gainers get up to in the bedroom but still, no one's being hurt and therefore there's nothing truly wrong with it. We're just, well, a bit excentric, aren't we?

[fatlineman72]

i wouldnt be surrpsied if every chubby erson ever felt that way. people have a way of getting to you for being different and want you to be more like them. not being different scares them, and causes them to hurt whats different. dont let anyone get you down for being who you are, which in this case is a big boy. you will find that there is no normality, and that you will always be able to find something to seperate yourself from "normality." First its your weight, then who knwos wat itl be next, your hiar, the way you dress, the music you like, it doesnt end.

you just need to be yourself and let yourself be happy.

[redvein]

Not really. Likeing big guts is like anything else.
one example that I will use is cake. Every one likes cake, and everone has there special flavor that they just love. Same thing with stomachs. The thing is not to take it to far. I don't know if there are some people on here, but there are people out there who want to get so big that they just can't move. That is the only thing that I find disgusting. I would probobly kill myself if I could never move.

[Strider]

Not really. Likeing big guts is like anything else.
one example that I will use is cake. Every one likes cake, and everone has there special flavor that they just love. Same thing with stomachs. The thing is not to take it to far. I don't know if there are some people on here, but there are people out there who want to get so big that they just can't move. That is the only thing that I find disgusting. I would probobly kill myself if I could never move.
Technically you would be in a sense killing yourself passively by not being able to move...

[aspirant]

I think that Dan89 has hit on something when he says he keeps finding himself back here no matter how many times he tries to convince himself that gianing weight isn't for him. I totally identify with that - I've spent years fighting with my desire to get fat, putting on a few pounds and then recoiling in horror from what I've done and pushing it to the back of my mind. I think what unites all (or the majority) of us here is more than a desire for fatness - it is a NEED for fatness which demands to be satisfied. Where that need comes from is maybe for another thread, but for me the only solution has been to give in. And for me "gaining" is exactly that: a giving in to a need. Some people will not succeed in gaining because that need isn't in them and it is difficult to force something like that. But if you do have the need I believe you should give in and embrace it - we are all here to support you.

[Strider]

I think what gainers need to do is first accept themselves as however they feel they should be (skinny, pudgy, chuby, fat, obese, etc) and not let that acceptance be swayed by social pressures. Don't try and become something you are not to find love either, because love under false pretenses isn't really love at all.

[blargh127]

Exactly.. besides, it's what makes us *us*.. but as previously said, you cannot take this too far but that's like all things.. (too much of something, no matter how good it is, can be bad)..

There are stranger fetishes out there anyway.. like getting turned on by girls smoking or watching Nike brand shoes get muddied.. or cum.. but then again, people who have those fetishes might find that okay and gaining strange.

Besides, what's normal? To hell with normal. We should just be happy with being who we are.. >_<

[troodon]

Do you ever feel that what we do is wrong? Do you ever look at your friends and wish for normality?

I know I do, but what about you guys?

I get all that stuff we are made the way we are, but it's really on and off for me, sometimes I accept this so called 'fetish' and live it out, but other times I think what I do is gross and disturbing. Sometimes I wish I could get rid of liking big guts, almost as if it is an anchor holding me down from living like my friends. I don't know really. Have any of you ever had changes of heart?:confused:

Normality is overrated. Everybody is unique... so whatever standard you set for normality, only one person can possibly fully conform to it.

I've made peace with the fact I'm not even close to society's definiton of normal... it's not just the gaining thing either, there are many aspects of my personality, beliefs, and opinions, and general attitudes, that significantly differ from the mainstream. I tried to conform, or at least pretend to, back in my high school days... my experience has been nobody really bought it anyway, making me doubly miserable, both for having to deny myself and still get rejected anyway. I quickly learned that conforming to a norm just isn't worth it. It might sound cliched that you just have to be yourself and deal with the consequences of that, but it's a cliche for a reason! So I quit tried to be someone I was not... I could find people who could at least tolerate my eceentricities, and in the world of the internet I'm not really alone... a lot of the non-mainstream attributes of myself are shared by others, somewhere.

Sometimes I feel alone and isolated, despite all that, and it is a slightly depressing feeling. But I get over it eventually... because having to deny myself would be even more depressing.

Here's a great quote I've found that perfectly reflects my attitutes on conformity:

"One should respect public opinion insofar as it is necessary to avoid starvation and keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny." -Bertrand Russell

[BigBelliedMan2011_20]

I have felt that way but i just thought that it was me so i didnt really think about it much

[Al. Truistic]

Exactly.. besides, it's what makes us *us*.. but as previously said, you cannot take this too far but that's like all things.. (too much of something, no matter how good it is, can be bad)..

There are stranger fetishes out there anyway.. like getting turned on by girls smoking or watching Nike brand shoes get muddied.. or cum.. but then again, people who have those fetishes might find that okay and gaining strange.

Besides, what's normal? To hell with normal. We should just be happy with being who we are.. >_<

o__O; C'est vrai? People are actually turned on by muddy sneakers? -doesn't fathom since messy sneakers make him twitchy- e_e;;





Back to the actual topic <_<;; : I've already told the thread starter what I felt about the issue of "giving up the fetish". My answer was basically that there will be times where liking what many of us here like is going to be strange for the rest of your life, but you can't let this feeling of "D: I'm ...different..." take over your life. There's really nothing that can be done about being wired a certain way during development but a person can learn to balance out being gainer-related and normalcy.

[doughboy]

Yeah... it's nice to be with the "in-crowd" up to a point. Finally I have to ask myself, "Why can't I just be ME?" It takes ALL OF US in this world to form the perfect picture. As I have said in the past... "Dare to be yourself." You do whatever fills your boat. I would say that in heaven.

[skinnykid]

oh god, you have no idea, when i first started liking this stuff ive been on and off for a long time, one day i hate fatness, the next i love it but im over it now and decided this is what i like and im going to stick to it.

[blargh127]

Yeah.. I guess it's one of those things you just have to accept, but you cannot let it rule your life. ^^ Use it to an advantage.. like.. if it makes you feel good.. then do it.. especially if it enhances sex, I guess.

A friend of mine helped me when I was having my huge ordeal between track and gaining.. he asked.. "Which one gives you a better feeling?" He used to be a hardcore swimmer (still is, actually) and a gymnast (no longer is).. he said he chose gaining because of the appeal..

But enough of my dirty ranting. >_< It's all about choice. No crime in being pudgy, methinks. *thumbs up*