Don't hate me, but I felt compelled

[fatty_jones]

Well...seeings how the random stuff forum has been...sorta boring lately...lets kick it up a notch (thanks emeril)...Whats the best chuck norris jokes/phrases you know?

Here goes nothin:
Chuck Norris once rode a bull...9 months later, it had a calf.
If you spell Chuck Norris in scrabble, you win. Forever.

[Toddle]

1. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
2. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
3. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
4. When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
5. Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses. The result was him seeing around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his own head.

[FatNJ812]

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris doesnt consider it sex if the woman lives

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

[billibob]

an odd variation =P

When Chuck Norris has a problem, he asks Bill Nye.

While the general public knows him as Chuck Norris, Bill Nye knows him as the Roundhouse Kicking Machine of Science.

Chuck Norris' tears may cure cancer, but Bill Nye's tears impregnate women.

Bill Nye Can react noble gases with anything he wants, just yesterday he reacted Neon with Chuck Norris.

[Toddle]

Bill Nye fan, I take it?

The world doesn't revolve around the sun, it revolves around Chuck Norris.

[Matuso]

Oh god, Chuck Norris jokes. Why are these still around?

[Toddle]

I have no idea. Kills time though.

Chuck Norris' dick has a dick of it's own, and it's still bigger than yours.

Gotta love the internets

[BigBellyBoi]

hahahahaha

Bill Nye XDDDDD i just watched one of his videos in class the other day XDDDDDDDDD rofl