View Full Version : Telemarketers

2nd September 2007, 03:06 PM
Are so much fun to screw with! :p When they called at 8 AM I answered the phone and took out all my aggresion on the telemarketer! God bless telemarketers :3

2nd September 2007, 03:56 PM
I started yelling at one in German once.. ironically.. they spoke it too.. then we discussed tea prices..

2nd September 2007, 08:39 PM
Me: *neutral* .... ... hello?
TM: *thick accent* Hello my name is Adam and I am from Three Mobile Company, let me ask you how much you spend on your mobile bills per month?
Me: *putting on russian accent* Ah, Comrade Adamska! I trust you have the product, but it is too dangerous to talk on this line.
TM: Yes but how much do you spend on mobile phon?
Me: So it's that dangerous? Nyet, we cannot allow those american pigdogs to get away with it with time. The "Dog Leash" is in the women's bathrooms, second floor, second cubicle. You press the button, and Comrade Devolski will take over from there. Da?
TM: Uh...

Me: *sounding down* .. hello?
TM: *thick accent* Hello I am George from T-Mobile, how much do you spend on mobile phone bills per month?
Me: .... .... you monster!
TM: What? How much do you spend on....
Me: I'm GRIEVING! Can't you see, my last boyfriend was a telemarketer!
TM: Yes, yes, how much do you....
Me: But now he's GONE!
TM: Um..
Me: He ran off with a girl named Sheila, who was an answering machine!
TM: How much...
Me: And now I'm worthless and lost, since I only sell vacuum cleaner extensions on the internet!
TM: Yes, I like you.
Me: R... really?
TM: Yes, I would like your email address, and you are a nice guy.
Me: But...
TM: Now about those mobile phone bills...
Me: That's what my last boyfriend said! *hangs up*

I've got many more tales of what I said to them, like the "100th caller on radio show", "Hello, Pink Boa Whip Salon, how may I pleasure you today?", "Now let ME make YOU an offer!"

I love our telemarketers, they rock.

3rd September 2007, 12:57 AM
"Hello, may I speak to your parents?"
Who is calling?
"I'd like to see if they are interested in--"
"Can you let me fi--"
No. We do not want a vacuum cleaner, washing machine, hairdryer, hairdryer RACK, feather duster, or any other shit you are trying to sell to us.
"We are calling ab--"
"Can you let m-"
Definately not. And may I ask how you got my number?
"You are in our compu--"
So take us out.
"I cannot d-"
"Ok, we will t-"
Good. *Hangs up*

3rd September 2007, 01:54 AM
I totally hate telemarketers, especially the ones who call at mealtimes when I'm doing something really important, like stuffing my belly... so I love f**king with them when they call. I especially love it when they ask if this is the lady of the house? Now, I mean REALLY... I do NOT have a voice like Richard Simmons and nobody could ever think that I am a lady. So when I ask them what makes them think there is a lady of the house, they get all confused and start to yammer... Then more games are in order!

I mean, sometimes I just want to hang up as noisily as possible... and at other times my mischievious nature wins out...

On the other hand, there are the calls from a machine that simply is searching for an answering machine on which to leave the sell message. Lately, I have been deluged with recorded calls from Boris The Mover, who tells me he will supply a truck and two athletic movers. Two Athletic Movers??? Hmmm... Maybe I should find something that needs moving...??!!

3rd September 2007, 05:04 AM
The only telemarketers that call us however are only toll free polls. I have no idea what I can say to them at all. And I have a rotary phone with no caller id on the line in my room (nothing can plug into the jack when it's there as it's a wall mount phone and it's in by it's built-in plug). However I have a caller ID on my tv (Yay cable phone internet and tv), and I have one on the cordless phone I have that is an extention of my mom's cordless in the main part of the house. So I cna't see unless I have the cordless phone by me and not by my bed which is pointless as the rotary phone is literally right by me, or if I have my TV on and when it's on I rarely watch. However, I will look over when there's a call but my TV isnt' on too much anymore. So, yeah. :( I can't have any fun.

3rd September 2007, 08:47 AM
The do not call list in my country does seem to work quite well..
Since they've started that up we haven't received many at all here.
Unfortunately, it doesn't stop them all, but it does a damn good job.

3rd September 2007, 07:12 PM
OK, although we all hate them, can we get one little thing into perspective?

These people are doing a job, they are earning money, and I'm sure they would much rather be doing something else given the choice. It's the companies they work for that annoy me, their the ones making them do this dumb stuff.

Except the random callers from Three, they can go **** a duck :p

3rd September 2007, 11:32 PM
Except the random callers from Three, they can go **** a duck :p

That's the only telemarketers we get! :D

5th September 2007, 01:58 AM
daedalusj is right, most of the time they are just poor bastards trying to get through the day for their meager, insufficient paycheck that will not actually cover their expenses, so I try to be pretty decent to them, while still making it clear that they are never going to get anything out of me and that they shouldn't waste their time trying.

That said, in an effort to cheer up a friend who was in a bad mood and planning to unload on one, I did convince him to give me the phone instead and then I comically baffled the guy by stating nonsense in as friendly a tone as I could.

"Java junkie"
"Hi is this (my friend)?"
"Burning milkshake oscillates freely."
"Uh...is (my friend) available?"
"Radish chunks orange delightfully."
Desperately: "uh...(my friend)?"
"Donkeys moped candy mountains."
"I'll try back later..."

Ok, perhaps mean to the poor guy on the other end, but my friend and I were highly amused.

5th September 2007, 07:20 PM
lol thats my job and it's soo frustrating to talk to people who are assholes (mostly ignorant people like bigots, homophobes and etc)... some are actually funny and make my day... but some who tell me to get a real job, lol i probly make more money then them so im good :P

also before people start picking on me i DON"T sell anything i don't offer anything i get market reaserch for cell phone companies and TV companies and agricultural products i ASK people about it and some times we PAY for peoples time... i'm not the annoying kind of telemarketer.... if such a thing exsists