Alcoholism

[haako87]

This is kind of an odd thing to post in this forum, but I am having a hard time dealing with it and was curious to see if anyone in our community could relate.

Have any of you ever had a loved one who is an alcoholic? My father is and has gotten progressively worse over these past two years (so much so that my mother divorced him last year). I have just gotten to the point where I know that there is nothing that I really can do to help him. He refuses any treatment and has really hit rock bottom. It is just so hard to watch someone do this to himself. Can anyone empathize? I know it is a personal subject, and I will probably regret posting this, but I just wanted to know if there was anyone else like me out there.

[Here]

I have an uncle who is an alcoholic. He himself won't get help and has quite a few times been in accidents as a result of drinking and driving. He now doesn't have a license, and has refused to admit there is a problem.

I understand how difficult it is to deal with someone like that, he may not be my father, but he is someone in my family. I don't know how it is with your dad, but depression seems to run in the family, I think my uncle drinks because he uses it to cope.

I guess for some people that's their preferred way of dealing with problems. I don't know that there is much you can really do for someone, other than be there, voice concern, but not be overbearing. Unfortunately most people won't change unless they're ready to or feel the need. The best we can do is be there.

Good luck to you.

[LrgrThnLf]

A relative of mine, in his 50s, was recently diagnosed with Type II bipolar disorder.. Since his teens, he'd been "self medicating" with alcohol and marijuana - now on his hopefully last of several marriages, he's getting treatment.

This only happened when everyone took a firm line with him, his parents stopped enabling his behaviour, his liver started shutting down and he had something to want to get better for (his job, his kids, his life and his now wife).

He has to want to change. I guess get him in good mood (don't know what kind of alcoholic he is), express your concerns and then the ball's in his court.

Also, as here suggested, this frequently runs in families - so be self aware as well. Keep an eye on yourself.. I know my family's got a history of substance abuse and addiction, depression and other related disorders so I've never touched marijuana for example (studies have shown that people with family histories may have an increased risk of severe side effects) - indeed the only "drug" besides the odd social drink I've ever tried is amyl nitrate - and that gave me a headache. When I'm down, I have a support network of people I can reach out to, and just talk about things, not about solutions necessarily, but just talking stuff out.

Perhaps have a look through city council website for your city in health services division and look at support groups that may exist - not all of them are for the people with the affliction themselves - people such as yourself need support too... and, in the end, if there's nothing that you can do, you have to make sure he doesn't take you down with him and that your welfare isn't tied to his (housing etc.)

[LrgrThnLf]

you could allways take the alcohal awayNot that easy - an alcoholic is an addict, they'll find a way to get it.

[Barnabas Collins]

Removing the source does not remove the cravings sadly...

[haako87]

Removing the source does not remove the cravings sadly...

That is very true. I don't know if I necessarily buy into the whole "disease" argument that some people have, but I do believe that it is a very difficult addiction to break. Dad was sober for three years and then relapsed unexplicably. I also feel that there may be some truth in the theory that to a degree it can be genetic. Most of the men in my dad's family have stuggled with it. They are of Cherokee/Russian lineage, which may have a big thing to do with it, the fact that Native Americans espically have a tendency towards alcoholism.

[FatMike]

Thankfully I don't have any immediate friends and family who have problems with alcohol. I can imagine how hard it would be to break though, even though its harder to get addicted to then such things as tobacco and drugs in general.

Hell, probably one of the worst things to get dependent on is something easily available (in most of the world anyway) at any pharmacy in large amounts.. codeine. A shockingly strong opiate, these over the counter drugs can form the worst dependencies of anything legal... when so much money and time is spent on fighting the bullshit "war on drugs" to stop things that generally can't kill and in terms of long-term damage, are heavily debatable when dangerous pharms that are certainly abused are out there sitting on chemists shelves, with no to very little effort to make up some story to obtain them.